Huil Baby

Coping With Cry Babies

There are various ways parents can cope with cry babies.

How can the so-called “rule of 3” help parents?

For some, a child who cries for two hours a day is probably not a cry baby.  However, two hours of crying can still test a parent’s patience especially if he or she can’t console the baby.

When crying starts, it’s natural for parents to comfort their baby right away. Parents will do anything  to stop the crying. For example, they can resort to carrying their baby all the time.  Parents can end up very tired doing that all the time.

Try listening to a crying or screaming baby for a few minutes. You will quickly feel uncomfortable. So just imagine what the parents of a cry baby go through.

What we feel that the definition of a cry baby should come from the parents, themselves. Hence, it’s critical that they acknowledge their doubts and insecurities and recognize their ability to respond to the needs of their child. Most importantly, they should be able to find a new balance their new role as parents.

Even though it’s subjective, we prefer that parents indicate that their baby cries a lot.

When a child cries a lot and can’t sleep, most parents usually just tolerate it. In most case, parents just let the baby cry. Parents who aren’t aware of the effects of crying usually resort to such technique.

There’s a thin line between fatigue and overwork. Hence, parents usually resort to the let-‘em-cry method. This particular kind of method actually go against feelings of parents. As they let their babies cry, their frustration, sadness, and guilt become more apparent.

That is why it’s important for parents to accept that their baby cries  a lot. By accepting it, they can learn how to deal with it.

Parents can start learning how to cope by “mapping” out the crying pattern of the baby. This can be done by means of keeping a journal. A well-documented journal or diary can give parents and carers insightful clues as to how to address the problem.

The cries of an infant greatly affects parents’ emotions, most  especially the mother. A crying infant could be a sign of hunger or sadness. So it’s but natural for a mother to respond right away.

Crying is a piercing sound that draws a lot of attention and that’s exactly what the intention is. Since a newborn baby is entirely dependent on his or her parents, crying becomes a survival mechanism.

Crying is a baby’s way to call for help. Parents can respond appropriately by learning from their insightful data inputs. This can help reduce the burden and increase the parents’ capacity to take control over the situation. This way, they can work towards a step-by-step process to build their self-confidence and trust in their baby.

Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression or PPD is real. It’s very different from “baby blues” since postpartum depression lasts much longer.

PPD not only happens after childbirth. It can also occur after a miscarriage, abortion, or even after an adoption. PPD has the same symptoms as a ‘normal’ depression, but it’s distinct in such a way that it develops over time.

About 10% of mothers deal with some kind of form of PPD. Fathers can also develop depression from the stress and fatigue that come after childbirth.

Often, PPD is caused by a combination of physical changes and psychological issues. For example, physical changes may cause an improper functioning of the mother’s thyroid gland. This can cause hormone imbalance and can leave the mother feeling tired and depressed.

The treatment of a PPD depends on the cause. If it’s a psychological issue, then it’s best to treated with medication.

The first step to recovery is to recognize PPD. The sooner the mother recognizes that she has PPD, the better. Unfortunately, there are still women who deny having it for a long time. This greatly affects the whole family.

Depression is a disease that’s still not understood in our society. This is especially true if the baby is healthy. Mothers find it hard to complain when their baby is healthy.

There is lots of useful information on PPD for both the mother and the partner.  You can visit .


Possible Causes of Baby Crying and Potential Effects

It’s important to know some of the causes and effects of a crying baby.

Here are some symptoms and causes for babies to cry.

Symptoms that may indicate a physical cause of the cry:

  • piercing cry with voice
  • crying all day
  • flow back nutrition, vomiting, diarrhea, or weight loss

Possible physical causes:

  • nutritional problems like spitting, cramps, or constipation;
  • infections like colds, inflammation, diaper rash, urinary tract infection, or diarrhea; and
  • Other causes like allergies, eczema, prematurity, birth trauma (e.g. broken collarbone.), immaturity of the central nervous system, hip dislocation, deviation in the spine, or breathing problems;

* Note: This is a list of examples, not an exhaustive list of the causes of crying.

No physical cause

Recent research shows that there was no physical cause of crying in 97% of babies in the hospital. (Nooitgedagt et al, 2005).

The cry should be considered as something a baby does as opposed to something a baby has.  (Barr, 1993).


A baby’s excessive crying and lack of sleep can have grave consequences.

Consequences for parents

  1. Physical effects

Structural sleep deprivation leads to the following:

  • concentration problems;
  • forgetfulness; and
  • constant stress, most especially if the crying happens at night; and
  • is a proven method of torture  .
  1. Emotional or psychological consequences

If your baby cries excessively, it’s hard to think that there ever will be a healthy sleep-wake pattern. Everyone has moments. Hence, everyone deserves to have some time to rejuvenate.

A crying child can spark the following emotions:

  • pity;
  • irritation;
  • anger;
  • fury;
  • impotency;
  • frustration;
  • depression; and
  • loneliness, to name a few.

You may also experience feelings of anger once you are deprived of sleep. This, in turn, causes you to get angry with your baby. Such emotion can leave you feeling guilty.

Exhaustion can trigger or even worsen depression worsen or even trigger. In most cases of Shaken Baby Syndrome, 95% to be exact, crying is the reason for the shake of the child (Pass et al, 2005). Shaking can cause serious damage to the brain of a baby. The damage caused by shaking, is permanent and can vary from mild symptoms to death. In the majority of SBS cases, 5 to 20 seconds of shaking have shown great damage to the infant.

  1. Social impact

Crying and fatigue can also affect your social life. If you are always exhausted, you will have a hard time sustaining your social obligations. Hence , every opportunity to sleep should be maximized. If you have to hire a babysitter, then do it.

  1. Other consequences

Prolonged sleep deprivation can have profound implications on the couple’s relationship. At the same time, it can also affect the other children as well. The following are grave consequences of sleep deprivation.

  • Tension and quarrels among family members;
  • Less need for physical contact; and
  • Sleep deprivation for other children.

With sleep deprivation, parents won’t have time to take care of themselves. Their self esteem and confidence will wane.

Everybody loses with a cry baby in the family. The parents and other children are all bound to end up in the losing end. At the same time the crying baby is also on the losing end, he or she is pretty much the victim in such an unfortunate  situation.  This can cause a lot of friction among the family members.

Here are a couple of quotes from parents of cry babies:

“I’m too irritated to even do something with my child. Sometimes I wonder if I love him. ”

“I’m afraid when I think of what I could do to my baby if he cries all night again.”

“My first child was crying a lot. When he was eight months, I was at wits’ end. We wanted a little brother or sister for him. So now, I am two months pregnant and honestly I can not enjoy my pregnancy. I feel depressed and guilty once and I’m not sure how to proceed.”

Parents will do anything to comfort a crying baby. Everyday is a challenge because nothing seems to help. So after a few weeks, parents tend to give up. The first few months can be very tough for the parents and if they don’t know how to handle the situation, it could endanger their relationship with their baby.

Consequences for the Baby

Physical consequences

Symptoms may be the result of a long and difficult birth or a very fast, powerful delivery. If these symptoms are left untreated it can cause the following problems:

  • Does not want to crawl;
  • Slow  development of gross and fine motor skills;
  • Has a hard time balancing himself or herself;
  • Has a poor posture;
  • Stumbles and falls;
  • Has speech delay;
  • Is always tired;
  • Wakes up with a headache;
  • Always has a headache; and
  • Can eventually have poor concentration in  school.

Other symptoms like forgetfulness, restlessness, and learning disabilities need a lot of attention from the parents.

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